The Vikings’ slide continued with a one-sided defeat to the Buffalo Bills in primetime on Monday. In the latest SKOL from the Sofa, Charles Wheeler breaks down the game from a fan’s perspective.
Okay, listen: I’m 38 years old and I put effort into watching this football game. Before we start, I need to talk about how that’s possible, in order to reduce the abject suffering we’re apparently to be subjected to when our favourite team is holding the ball they play the sport with.
Firstly: it is not advisable to just stay up, straight through. Do not do this. You will be sleepy and upset. You will not have clarity of mind. You will be online at 4 in the morning advocating a trade for Kirk Cousins.
My current tactic is to nap from 10pm to 5 minutes before kickoff, snack lightly upon waking, and resist the temptation to over-snack later on, going to bed slightly hungry but only like three hours away from breakfast. It works for me: today I am awake at a normal time, have parented my child and am experiencing reasonable takes about the Minnesota Vikings quarterback room.
Speaking of which:
I’m writing to my MP to have the Vikings’ quarterback room designated a terrorist group
Oh boy, oh boy. To everyone who flooded comment sections calling to bench Murray for Wentz, I want you to know that you are in my mental Filofax in the same category as scam callers and Jehovah’s Witnesses. While I do assign a portion of blame for how you are on power structures beyond your control, I never want to experience you in my life.
You are wrong in a way that goes beyond bad opinions, and the thing you were wrong about hurt me so personally that I can’t even experience schadenfreude about how wrong you were. I can’t victory lap you on this one because we both lost together. Nothing but purple unites us. I will still probably hug you if you’re as sad about it as I am.
Carson Wentz was an abject disaster last night. By whatever metric you assess your quarterbacks, this was not the performance of a rosterable NFL starter. If you like modern advanced stats like EPA/dropback or CPOE, you watched a historically bad game.
If you’re into good ol’ passer rating, Max Brosmer’s fourth-quarter snaps nearly quadrupled the team average for the night. 81/0/2 reads more like someone messed up a date on a spreadsheet than it does a QB statline.
And if you favour the definitely-not-subjective-nonsense “eye test”, this wasn’t just a failure – it was a full-on humiliation, in primetime. Wentz conducted a symphony of inexcusable misses and turn-downs, probably the most egregious being the throw right into the hands of Terrell Bernard with Myles Price wide open to the left.
There is no measure by which this performance was acceptable or even excusable. I’ve been vocal that QB isn’t the only problem, but last night it was the biggest, dwarfing anything else into statistical insignificance.
The coaching is still bad, though
Let’s face it: Kevin O’Connell’s seat is hot. I don’t know what the QB whisperer is whispering these days, but ideally I’d like it to include a few more run plays when that’s working and the galaxy brain passing scheme is very clearly not.
There’s nothing about this that forgives how atrociously Wentz played, but if we’re talking about how to fix this anaemic offense, it has to go beyond the quarterback.
Whether it’s a change at playcaller (finally giving Wes Phillips a shot after grooming him for the role across multiple preseasons), KOC swallowing his pride and simplifying, or someone straight-up losing their job, we have to do better by our passers.
Kyler Murray has done nothing here. Max Brosmer’s upside is limited but won’t be found in another long-developing deep shot or a doomed-from-the-start screen.
The jury’s out on J. J. McCarthy in New York, but while he’s looking like basically the same quarterback he was here (couple of dimes, extremely low catchable pass rate, too much zip on everything), it still begs the question how this overcooked offensive system could be anything other than a coincidental landing spot for an already-talented QB who’s been overlooked through a combination of circumstance and the crimes of the New York Jets.
Oh hey, speaking of that:
I am astonishing myself by being open to a trade for Geno Smith and it’s all Brian Flores’s fault
Okay, sure, draft capital for what would be an eight-game rental (or I guess 12 if things go really well) is a panic move. But the Jets aren’t going anywhere despite Geno pretty clearly demonstrating that Yes It Was In Fact A Raiders Problem, and we do have to make some kind of move, lest we consign ourselves to wasting a staggeringly good defense.
Like I say, it won’t fix everything. There’s more to address than who’s throwing the ball and a lot of it is systemic and deep-rooted. But if we don’t try something, we will always, always wonder how far this Flores juggernaut could’ve taken us.
Dallas Turner and Jalen Redmond are wrecking shop, Blake Cashman remains the most underrated player in the NFL, and even the secondary had some outstanding moments last night, the open receivers seeming to come mostly from excellent Bills scheming rather than our own errors.
This defense is a joy to watch, but if we’re watching them for seventy-nine plays in a single game and breaking our own all-time low for time of possession, that is going to be less and less true as the year drags on.
It’s entirely possible that Smith isn’t close to an answer, but we know that the answer is not in the building right now. We’ve tried these guys. They aren’t it. Maybe at this point it’s better the devil you don’t know.
The vibes dichotomy
I said after the Bucs game that I can’t recall a situation where a fanbase was this down on a 3–0 team, and that’s proven to be the most consistent element of this season, even outlasting Will Reichard’s made kicks streak. But it makes sense, doesn’t it? We’re 2–1 in the toughest division in the league, dropping from 1st to 3rd following a miserable primetime performance.
The season-opening dismantling of Green Bay is looking more like a fluke with every snap, never mind every game. The majority of opinions about this team are expressed through the medium of agonised scream at the TV. We have the most fun defense we’ve ever seen and can’t even enjoy it.
All the big splashes we could make before the trade deadline at 9pm GMT would feel like band-aids, nervous last-minute moves that would leave huge new question marks hanging over the season.
We’re mired in the slop, carrying a 6–2 record that feels more like a burden than an achievement. There is no way out but through. So yeah, it makes sense. If there’s someone who could be normal about this team, I’m scared of them.
Speaking of people who are upset:
Can someone please hug Justin Jefferson?
Remember when the best receiver in the league was injured on the sideline in Atlanta but still found the energy to hype up Josh Dobbs? Remember when he said he’d rather let everyone else on the team have a big day than himself?
This man has been a saintly teammate for years now, but the last couple of weeks he’s been the picture of dignified frustration. Declining to speak to the press after the Lions loss, standing alone visibly fuming on the sideline last night… I’m worried, man.
This guy is loyal beyond loyal to this team, going out of his way to be a teammate before a player and still being, like, the best player. If he’s this down, we’re in a bad place.
Maybe the Geno trade would be worth it if we can just get him a few targets that don’t require an absurd circus catch. Just some yards. Just some fantasy points for me. Anything! Anything at all! Help this man!
Hey Charles, did anything on the broadcast wryly sum up the situation for us?
We got shots of John Randle watching this defense like he wanted to run out there, and Randy Moss watching this offense like he’d rather be watching himself get waterboarded. Thanks for asking!
Do you want to have your say about an upcoming Vikings game? Is something really grinding your gears? You can have your say right here in Skol from the Sofa. Just drop us an email at UKVikingsFanClub@gmail.com or send us a DM on any of our social media channels.